Jesus is at the heart of modesty.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers,  by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world,  but be transformed by  the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." ~Romans 12:1-2 

First, I want to stress that the purpose of this blog is not to point out girls, judge or offend anyone.  Modesty has been a burden on my heart for a very long time and I feel it's a topic that we, the church, often touch on but don't focus on.  I love each girl the Lord has placed in my life and I want nothing more than to do everything I can to bring them closer to Him and help them to be effective for His kingdom.  I will try to stray away from my personal opinion about clothing and stick to what the word says about how we should dress and carry ourselves...and the Bible has plenty to say about it!!

The first mention of modesty goes all the way back to Adam and Eve (Genesis 3).  We need to understand that there is a theological foundation for modesty that goes back to the Fall. The first thing that Adam and Eve did after the fall was look for fig leaves to cover themselves up and cover their nakedness. The first result of the guilt of sin was the recognition that they were immodest. Before sin they had no fear that their nakedness could ever be used for evil purposes, but when sin entered the world it changed the innocence of nakedness forever. After the Fall, whenever nakedness is mentioned, except within marriage, it is always associated with shame. Our society has lost the ability to feel shame about immodesty because showing our bodies has become so acceptable. However, what is acceptable to our fallen world is not acceptable to God. 

Now, knowing that the issue of modesty started all the way back to the beginning of time, we know how important this issue is to God.  I do not believe that all girls walk around trying to be immodest,  most girls are trying to be fashionable!  The reason this is such a hard issue to tackle is because our culture and what we view as fashionable is not lined up with biblical standards.  As Christians, we should look very different to the rest of the world.  Based on Romans 12:1-2, though society believes that some things are fashionable and acceptable, we should not be conformed to this world but our appearance should be holy and acceptable to God.  The world doesn't know any better so going into a high school or public mall should look very different than going into a church, however, that's not that case.  The amazing thing about the way God uses us in His divine plan is that He sends us out into the world!  In our schools, jobs and families we should stick out because we are TRANSFORMED!  

The goal of every Christian should be to glorify and please God by being satisfied in Him. Scripture says that the Lord loves purity and righteousness (Psalm 11:7), that is the very essence of who He is! Part of pleasing Him is seeking righteousness in all we do, say, think and WEAR. Being madly in love with God leads to being fully satisfied in Him and being fully satisfied in Him pleases Him!  In Matthew 22:36-40, Jesus tells us that the greatest commandment is "to love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your mind."  What we wear starts with our mind and heart.  We choose to wear outfits to fit in or be fashionable, compete with other girls or get the attention of guys.  If these are our intentions, our hearts are not lined up with pleasing God. Think of it this way: Christ sacrificed His life to pay for our sin and bought us for a price.  If you know Christ, you are owned by God and the Holy Spirit lives in you. As believers, our bodies don't belong to us anymore, they were bought for a price, so how we dress should be all about the GLORY OF GOD.  God desires for His glory to be our purpose because has our best interest at heart and wants the best for us. He knows that being fully satisfied in Him will bring us the most joy in life here on Earth and prepare us for eternity with Him.

How you dress on the outside says a lot about who you are on the inside, so you have to be honest with yourself about your motives. So, let's just keep it real...we girls like to look better than our girl friends and we like guys to notice us. But these feelings, though natural, are not of the Lord and remember...we are transformed!  Our identity must come from who God says we are and who He has created us to be. Proverbs 31:30 tells us that "beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Our appearance does not define us, but our love for God does!  

The second part of the verses in Matthew, Jesus tells us that the second greatest commandment is to "love your neighbor as yourself".  When we go back to what our intentions are when we get dressed, competing with girls or trying to get the attention of guys is not loving. Most of the time we don't think of the real impact our choices have on others, especially guys. 

God has designed men and women to be very different in a lot of ways.  One major difference that is crucial here is that He designed men to be more visual and women tend to be more verbal.  For most women, sight is not a major avenue of temptation, but for men, they are tempted by what they see. In Proverbs 7:10 it says, "and there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart." Two points here, one I've tried to focus on already, immodesty is a heart issue.  The second thing to notice is that the Bible brings specific attention to the way immoral women dress to gain control. (ouch!) Another perfect example in scripture is King David. All of his trouble with Bathsheba started when he saw her bathing on the roof.  He was tempted by what he saw and she never said a word to him!  How powerful temptation can be!  Ladies, the men in our lives are tempted everywhere they look-the internet, TV, movies, billboards and magazines. As Christian women, we need to take this seriously and think about what the way we present ourselves does to men.  

I think it's important to add that immodesty is no excuse for lust.  A man cannot control the way women dress but he can control what he looks at and where he lets his sinful thoughts take him. Men must bring those thoughts under the control of Christ.  Romans 14:12-13 says, "Each of us shall give an account to God...and we should resolve not to put a stumbling block or cause to fall on our brother's way."  Ladies, though men are responsible for their own actions, let's not be guilty of feeding sinful thoughts by the way we dress, instead let's love one another and do only what brings each other closer to God and far from sin.

With all of this being said, guard yourself in being legalistic in this area.  Legalism is an "overemphasis on external things believing that it produces spirituality."  Legalism leads to self-righteousness and judgment and is often times mistaken for true righteousness. When you dress modestly, you glorify and please God and you are an encouragement to both men and women instead of a temptation to men and a bad example to women but the way you dress is not the only measure of your relationship with God. There are plenty of modest girls in the church whose lives are still fruitless. There are also several of you girls who love God but have not surrendered this area of your lives. I say to both groups, until you are fully satisfied in God, your lives will not glorify and please God.

What I want you to hear more than anything else I've said in this blog is that immodesty is a HEART ISSUE.  Instead of worrying about a list of "do and don't"s when it comes to how you dress, focus on clothing yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:12) by being fully satisfied in a God who encompasses all of these qualities. When we are fully satisfied in Him, He has the power to change our hearts to desire nothing more than more of Him!  It's about Who you gain (Jesus) from a life of righteousness, not about what you sacrifice (attention). 

Ask God to help you to be teachable and have a heart that wants nothing more than to bring glory to Him through your actions and appearance. Ask Him to remind you that your identity and self worth comes from Him alone. 

"God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him." 

~John Piper

good girls make weak women.

"For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do.  By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and  for sin,  he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.  For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.  For the mind that is set on the flesh is  hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.  Those who are in the flesh cannot please God." ~Romans 8:3-8 

The Lord has placed me in an incredibly humble position to lead high school and college girls; the heart He's given me for them is some days overwhelming.  I see parts of myself in each one of them and that both scares the heck out of me and brings me endless joy. Like most of them, I spent the majority of my young adult life trying not to sin and I failed miserably...over and over again. My biblical focus in college revolved around reading Solomon's oh-so-wise words and praying for a Godly husband to lead me while doing *my* best to stay pure for him and our future marriage. With this kind of relationship with the Lord, my best was never good enough... if you could believe that.  Embracing my gift of being a leader in college put a lot of pressure on me.  That kind of pressure, without being led by the spirit, eventually manifests secret sin to try to gain control of a life that's not our own and it always leads to destruction!  Romans 8 clearly says if we set our mind on the flesh, rather than living a life led by the spirit, it will lead to death.  It doesn't say, "it will lead to temporary discomfort and unhappiness"...it says, "DEATH"!  I knew nothing of the abundant life mentioned in John 10:10 because my eyes and heart were not constantly seeking God through His word and I was DEAD...but worst of all, I thought I was doing it all right. 

The enemy is a ridiculously talented smooth talker.  He uses his *God given* power to convince us that the living a 'sinless' life is enough; he knows we will fail in our own efforts.  I see young women fall prey to this lie daily in their focus to be 'good.'  If being good was enough, Christ's birth, life, death and resurrection was all in vain. God's word says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)  That includes all of us good girls who wear our crosses and purity rings, read daily devotionals, and don't drink, cuss or have sex. It's IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with being a good girl without true surrender to God and a real understanding of just how BIG His grace is.  

If being good girls is how we view biblical womanhood, we've dropped the ball big time!  We (the church) subconsciously think that the theology of Godly men and leaders is enough to carry us.  My fear is that the church is putting the spiritual growth of girls on the back burner and depending on the guys. Not only are we putting a lot of pressure on men, we're raising up weak women, disciples and one-day wives.  I don't know about you, but that frustrates me!   

Reading Proverbs while baking cookies with our small group isn't going to get us anywhere close to true surrender, ladies...and it's certainly not going to make disciples!  Our fellowship with women has to be more intentional or we're not disciples of Christ, we're just good girls.  It's easy for us to get caught up in the idea that our lives are pleasing God because we are being good, but Paul tells us in Romans 8 that "those who are in the flesh cannot please God."  If our lives are not led by the spirit, they are led by the flesh...despite the fact that the rest of the world views us as good.  When we can honestly see that our idea of godly womanhood is displeasing to God, our convictions have to fuel a desire to be as close to Him as possible!  

I could have probably kept this blog a lot shorter just by saying this...

If our focus remains on not sinning, our flesh will fail us every time. In order to live a life that's not controlled by sin, we have to HATE sin, to hate sin we have to LOVE God, to love God we have to KNOW God, to know God we have to know His WORD.   

My challenge for girls is as simple as this...get in the word! Every single day, delight in the gift of reading God's word and watch the way it transforms your life. Seek out godly women the Lord has placed in your life to help you with this. Do not be discouraged when you get bored or confused with what you read, ask God to show you new and exciting ways to study the Bible. We're in this together...Praise Him for that! 

"Wimpy theology makes wimpy women. Wimpy theology simply does not give a woman a God that is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough to handle the realities of life in a way that magnifies the infinite worth of Jesus Christ." ~John Piper

I'm a terrible blogger

My EA and friend, Matt, is one of my favorite bloggers and this week he got me thinking about how I'm a TERRIBLE blogger. One of my spiritual gifts is encouragement and I LOVE talking about my beautiful Savior, so why the heck can't I blog about it??

My goal next month is to blog twice, so I'm spending the remainder of October intentionally praying for the Spirit to lead me.

Until then, here are a few blogs that bless me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I read them. I love being part of a family of believers who want nothing more than to obediently document their journey with Christ.

Susan Daniels: Semi-Homemade Suzie.

Susan is my baby sister who has an amazing gift of creative writing.  Her blog generally makes me laugh, but the way The Lord has been moving in her life this past year, I expect Him to do great things through her blog.  PS. if you like food and saving money, she posts tasty cheap recipes, too. Check it!
 
April Kirby: Ramblings of Young Christian Woman.

If you know me, you know my love for April. April is probably my biggest fan, so that does make it easy to love her, but she is also the 21 year old version of me. God has blessed me in indescribable ways through our friendship since meeting her in Brazil 2 summers ago. She has the most beautiful heart for missions and lost people and has a beautiful way of sharing what The Lord puts on her heart. Get some tissues!  Check it!
 
Holly Furtick: The Preacher's Wife.

I've always known my calling to marry a man in full time ministry, so I am incredibly encouraged by wives who love and support their husbands' ministries but don't neglect their own. Holly is the wife of my second favorite pastor, Steven Furtick. Her blog is generally short, but full of wisdom and encouragement! I love, love, love it! Check it!

Matt Ford: LoveGodMakeWar.

I've gone to church with Matt for a few years but never really got to know him until The Lord told me I had to hire him as my assistant. I'm not sure I can fully express what a blessing it is to work with him everyday but it's totally been a God thing.  Maybe I'll blog about it soon! He and I are actually alike in a lot of ways, and a year ago I would have NEVER thought that...haha.  To name a few things we have in common, he has a BURNING passion for students, discipleship and missions!  I'm encouraged daily and, honestly, anticipate his next blog as much as I anticipate Pat Hood and Steven Furtick's sermons each week. Check it!
 
Nicki Koziarz: Nicki Koziarz. 

There was a time in my adult life, I was running, not with, but actually away from my God. During this time The Lord placed Proverbs 31 blogs in my life in a not so random way (check them out too) Nicki is part of Proverbs 31 Ministries and her blog was the first blog I started reading.  I am so encouraged by her honesty and how she can relate to women in all different life stages. Check it!

Carlos St. John: Devoted to the Gospel.

This kid's heart to know his Creator more everyday wrecks me in so many ways.  The wisdom The Lord has blessed him with at such a young age is unreal, not to mention he is ridiculously kind!  He is an Ambassador of Christ in every way the Word calls us to be. I am humbled and challenged by his knowledge every time I read his blog. Check it! (You might want a thesaurus handy...dude has an insane God-given vocabulary)
 

Grant Jenkins: An Idol Heart.

I first heard of Grant in April from a friend at LifePoint and we still haven't met but our mutual friends have been very persistent in making this happen. The past few weeks, God has provided us opportunities to chat about similar ways He's moved in our lives. I'm not ashamed to admit I've read every single one of his blogs since we've gotten to know each other.  Not only is he a far better writer than I could ever imagine being, his heart for God and the people He has placed in his life is beautiful.  Check it!
  

Until November, happy blog-reading!

break my heart for what breaks Yours...

"Open up my eyes to the things unseen,

show me how to love like you have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks yours,

everything I am for Your kingdom's cause."

~Hillsong United

over the past few months i've tried to focus on the reasons why the Lord has me where i am and why He brings certain people in my life. i've made it a point to be intentional in my relationships and pray over conversations with people i believe He has brought me for a reason. last wednesday i had a meeting with an acquaintance from church, Cortney, about a ministry she has started that was confirmation of God's purpose for my life.


those of you who know me, know i've always been labeled a "fixer". not a label i'm always proud of; it's caused me a lot of pain in my past when i wasn't running after the Lord, but something i've recently accepted as a God given gift when used under His guidance and direction. my heart is heavy for three specific social issues in brazil: human trafficking, sexual exploitation and orphan children. Cortney's ministry, One Less Ministries, has a mission to raise awareness about these and other issues while saving lives... one less orphan, one less victim of human trafficking, one less victim of sexual exploitation and one less victim of poverty.


you know why my heart is heavy?

27 million people are enslaved world wide

over 146 million children are orphans

every 2.2 seconds an orphan child ages out of the system with nowhere to go

over 925 million people are hungry

there are more prostitutes than Christians in Thailand

there are more children in the sex trade in brazil than there are prostitutes in thailand

human trafficking grosses over $9.5 billion a year

prostitution is often considered a victimless crime: girls start between 12 and 14 years old

over half the world, over 3 billion people, live on less that $2.50 a day

these statistics break God's heart.


Cortney's ministry has a heart for broken and hopeless people all over the world who are living in physical and spiritual bondage without Christ. meeting with her was a huge answer to prayers i've prayed every day for months. she came to me knowing my passion for brazil and is asking me to join in praying for how we can help give women and children physical and emotional freedom from their current lives and spiritual freedom through a loving Savior. as she and i sat in the cafe talking about her vision and God's call, my heart was filled with the strong desire to do something now...to fix this problem now! One Less Ministries believes (and God's Word says in Matthew 25:40) that sitting back and doing nothing is disobedience to a Father whose heart breaks for His children living in bondage.


Can you run, walk, or wheel?
Then you can do your part to help NOW!
One Less Ministries is teaming up with Chick-fil-A to raise money and awareness and give one person freedom.


freedom from slavery, sexual exploitation, abuse, and poverty
freedom in Christ!
Please check out the website below and register

www.onelessministries.org/events


"Delayed obedience is disobedience"

~David McCaman


"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear Children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth!"

~1 John 3:16-18

**statistics from onelessministries.org and compassion.com**

I fell in love with a country...

over the past couple of months i've been obsessed with Katie Davis's story and her heart for Uganda. from the first blog i read of hers, i felt drawn to her and thought to myself, "she gets me!" it's hard to explain to people my love for brazil, i get a lot of "why brazil? we have poverty here. we have orphans in america. people on your street need to know Jesus. your family is here..." i agree 100% with those statements, there's kingdom work to be done all over the world and God calls us to "make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19) and that includes where i am now. God has provided opportunities to share His love with people i work with, live next to, my students, my family and strangers...my time here isn't being wasted, but my heart still longs for brazil. i've prayed over my testimony for months, parts of my journey with Christ are shameful and filled with a lot of painful memories, but at the end of every heartache...there He stands. He has not only gotten me through every situation but He's been glorified and His plan has slowly unfolded from every experience i've had since college. i'm about to share things with you that i've never shared with anyone, but God's been telling me for months that i need to let my guard down and let Him work through my shameful, yet beautiful, story of His grace and perfect plan to reach hearts of others. so here it goes...

In May of 2005, I first stepped foot in Brazil and furthering God's kingdom was the last thing on my mind! All I could think about was being able to spend every day of the next 4 months with the man I love, but God sure had a different plan. For nearly 4 years, my love for Brazil stemmed from my love for this incredible man and his family. My summers spent there were centered around a life I was building with him. The key words there are “the life I was building”...though I made decisions about my relationship prayerfully, I never stopped to truly seek God's plan or question this heavy burden He had placed on my heart for this amazing country. I never thought twice about Brazil before I met Felipe but fell in love with everything about the people and culture as soon as I got there. God's word tells us that He already has a plan for us, and no matter how hard we disobey Him or follow after our own selfish desires, His plan will prevail! I always knew that God had a bigger plan for me there than being a wife of a Brazilian, but it took having to give up what I wanted more than anything in my life to truly see what He had in store.

Felipe and I spent 3 months apart and 4 months together over the next 3 years. He and I had planned to be married one summer while I was visiting. I had met with an immigration lawyer here to have all the necessary paperwork and couldn't wait to be his wife and be able to stay with him while he finished school so we could stop spending months apart. One day we went to get married and it turns out I didn't have my birth certificate stamped, an oversight that changed our plans. I was scheduled to go back home in a couple of weeks so I didn't have time to send it back to the states to get it stamped and have it back to us on time. We were both devastated and all I could see it as was a sign that we weren't meant to be married but he was eternally optimistic and assured me that it would all work out and immediately tried to come up with a plan B. Over the next year, the distance became harder for both of us, our plans just weren't lining up. God kept tugging on my heart that this was not the relationship he wanted for me but I ignored it. Felipe was an amazing man...he was insanely intelligent, hard working, supportive, driven, funny and loved everything about me. I never imagined loving someone so much or feeling so loved but God constantly reminded me that the man He has for me will not only love me but also love Him with all of his heart. I prayed over Felipe's heart for God since the day I met him, we had conversations about it almost daily and I just knew that God would draw him close through our relationship. Felipe always respected my relationship with God and loved talking to me about it, he went to church with me every Sunday and even prayed with me. But our relationship was not centered around God because we didn't both love God.

Once I moved to Tennessee and he spent some time in England studying, we grew further and further apart and both agreed that we needed time to ourselves. We had both sacrificed a lot of ourselves to be together. He spent every one of his summers in the states with me instead of traveling and I had given up all of my dreams to be with him and help him follow his dreams, and I never regretted it for a minute but it weighed heavy on Felipe that I had sacrificed so much. It wasn't an easy decision for either of us and we really couldn't explain to anyone why we felt this way, but we knew it was the right decision. We still kept in touch, which made it harder for both of us and finally we thought it was best that we not talk anymore. Of course I thought this was a stupid idea after about a week, but I respected him and trusted him so we stopped all communication for months.

After this painful breakup, I was devastated and never felt further from my God. I went months without having a conversation with my ridiculously faithful and patient God. I was angry and confused and wanted nothing to do with a God that took away my best friend and I couldn't even begin to see him in the situation. I spent months drinking and staying out late with people that encouraged me that this was the way to move on, embrace the single life! My best friend, Kym, wrote me a long letter expressing her concerns about my choices, it was kind of a wake up call for me but I still wasn't ready to forgive God (as if I'm that important, huh?) Kym and I have been best friends since 10^th grade. She is the best person I know and the only person in this world that truly knows me and my heart, but her words sometimes angered me more. She was married to an amazing man that loved God, owned a house, had a great job, a baby on the way, had an awesome family back home ...things seemed to always fall into place for her and I had become so bitter that her loving words had little impact on me. After the letter from Kym, I did slow down a little. I was more aware of how much I had been drinking, I could see that the men I was spending my time had no respect for me and that I missed having godly friends. Less than a year after Felipe and I broke up I jumped into long unhealthy and ungodly relationship with another man. This was the beginning of 3 years of a life of sin and I had become someone I wasn't. Throughout this relationship, I still couldn't stop thinking about Brazil, my heart longed to be there but it didn't make sense for me to go back and the man I was with had no desire to go to a place where Felipe and I shared so many memories.

I finally reached a point in my life where I knew I needed more of God. More than going to church occasionally, more than praying over meals, more than begging him to change my boyfriend or give me the strength to forgive him and “fix” him. One night I was so deeply sad that I cried out to God, “Why did you put me in these situations? Why did you bring me Felipe just to take him away, why did you allow me to get so caught up in another relationship that doesn't honor you?” I remember in that moment feeling God tell me, “I never brought you to this point, I was never part of any of this! But I've been waiting for you.”

Around that time, an old boss of mine, Brad Bynum, invited me to go to Lifepoint. It was initially weird going back to church and actively seeking God, rather than going on Sundays out of obligation. I met people that loved God and had a heart for missions, and specifically for Brazil! I had become so used to trying to control my life, getting caught up in sinful relationships and living a life that didn't reflect Christ that it was hard to surrender that control. Over the course of a year, God drew me back to Him and back to Brazil through my constant surrender of every area of my life to Him. Last summer I went back to Brazil, but this time for a very different reason. After spending a day loving on kids and families that so desperately longed for love, a love of my Savior through our hugs, time and gifts. The first night I was there I broke down and thanked God for taking control of my life and bringing me back to where I had longed to be. I could go on forever about what God showed me that week, but I'll save that for the next blog!

God is crazy good, and His plan is crazy perfect. Brazil has always been where God wanted me, but my stubbornness got in the way...but His plan always prevails!

‎

"It was only after God brought me to a place where I didn't want to be that He brought me to a place I truly longed to be." ~Anonymous

‎"Whatever you do, He will make good of it. But not the good He had prepared for you if you had obeyed him." ~C.S. Lewis"